Monday, April 10, 2006

[Therapy] Dream Interpretations: Total BS Edition

Ladies and Gentleman. Tonight it is my distinct displeasure to announce that tonight's guest dream interpreter is none other that Britteney Speares! She said I made her look silly in the last interview, and I owed her the chance to redeem herself. Brit, say something to the nice people:

BS: Howdy, y'all. I'm here to help Fm with his dream interpretaions. I am soo dag gum happy to be hear. I'm as happy as an ethiopian with a...uhhh...hockey stick! C'mon Fm, let's do them dreams!


Yes, lets (rolls eyes) Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy tonights BS edition of dreams interpreted.

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jimmyb: I had a dream where I had a job impaling hippies, but instead of a union guy, I was a scab!!

Whatever can this mean?!?!?!?

BS: Impaling hippies? I thought hippies was awready purty pale.

FM: No Brit, he means, killing hippies by inserting a spear in them.

BS: You can die from that?

FM: Well, Jimbo, I think this maybe an unconscious manifestation of growing frustration with the UAW. Since it is run by the hippies, and they are having a hard time keeping people employed out there, your anger is coming out in the form of this dream.

BS: Seriously, you can die from havin' a long, hard, spike drivin' through yer body? I don't buhleve that. I'm still here ain't I?

FM: Moving on....

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von: I dreamed that I got a bunch of email, and just deleted it without reading it.

The catch is that I thought it was real, and sent the "sender" an email asking to resend the emails that I deleted. Since it was just a dream, the "sender" replied wondering what the hell I was talking about.

BS: I do that all the time with my fan mail. They are always about impalin'.

FM: *slaps forehead* *sigh* Yes dreams can seem very realistic, and sometimes you're not sure what is dream and what is reality.

BS: This one time, I had this here dream that a talking corn dog proposed to me and I accepted. I married the corn dog, and he knocked me up, and...

FM: Yes, I can see how that applies here, Brit.

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zombiesilas: So...is this a Special Edition of Dream Interpretations...or a Special Dreams Intrepretations Dream Interpretations?

Cause there is a difference...


BS: That ain't no dream. What the heck you sposed to do with that?

FM: Zombie man is reader, and even though he didn't leave a dream, I'm using this opportunity to give him a link.

BS: You shore are a nice guy. Are you gonna give me a link? Hehehehe

FM: Sure, here ya go.

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linda: I haven't been able to dream since your last interpertation. I wake up wondering where my dreams went. I don't blame Bush, I blame you! Dream-snacher!

BS: That Bush shore is somethin' else. It prolly is his fault you can't dream no more Linda.

FM: I'm sorry, Linda. I didn't mean to have such an adverse effect on your dreams.

BS: It is hard to get ole FM off yore mind ain't it. He's kinda cute.

FM: Brit, that's enough. My readers want their dreams interpreted, not their previously digested food on their keyboards.


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Sssteve: I dreamed that as I walked from one end of my warehouse to the other, pieces of me began to fall off my body, when my head finally fell off my body i looked back and saw that I was strewn from one end to teh other. HELP me O mighty Decipher of Dreams!!

BS: Wow, that's a crazy dream you got there. I got nuthin'.

FM: Well, it sounds like you may be overstressed at work. Too many people pulling you in too many directions. Maybe you should move some of your tasks to the back burner for awhile, or participate in an activity that relaxes you.

BS: WOW Fm, you cum up with that all by yoreself?

FM: Nope, you did.

BS: Man, I'm getting smarter the more I cum around you.

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SeanS: I had a dream that I was a cobag. I don't know what it is but apparently it is a bad thing.

BS: A cobag? I ain't real shore what that is. Is that like a little handbag to keep make-up in?

FM: No, it's short for collostamy bag. Used by libtards in namecalling contests. Oh, and never end a sentence in a preposition.

BS: A prepo-what?



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FIAR: I had a dream that I lost control of my car, but then everything was ok, as I realized that only dirty hippies were being hit by the runaway car.

BS: Why are you fellers so mean to them dang ole hippies? They just want us to give peas a chance.

FM: Was it an SUV? You know those things drive themselves and have a will of their own. They are satan's minivans.

BS: Whoa! I got one of them saturn minivans. I better go check where it is!

FM: Calm down. That was a little attempt at sarcasm. And it's "Satan's Minvans" not Saturn minivans.

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Insolublog: I had a dream that I saw a news clip of Ted Kennedy smuggling his WMD liver past the Capitol hill police, waddling out to the center of the senate forum, and shouting:

"Allah Akubar!"

moments before he exploded it.

BS: Them ole Kennedys are always in trouble.

FM: While Ted's liver is most likely classified as a chemical agent by those who classify things, I would imagine it's deteriorated past an effective point and is no longer in danger of killing innocent bystanders. But, I would be wary of Ted anytime he tries to lure you in a car.

BS: What?

FM: Say goodnight Brit.

BS: Goodnight Brit.


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Wow. I am glad that's over. I hope you enjoyed the dreams tonight. Come back next week when I will try out a new stupid gimmick to get more people to read. Good night, and...Aw forget it.

Note: The standard disclaimer applies; this is total BS. If you beleive that any of this is anything other than the insane ramblings of an ego-maniac, please kill yourself as to not infect the rest of the gene pool.

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Posted by fmragtops to Therapy at 4/10/2006 04:34:00 PM